You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
