I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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