I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
