saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize