i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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