Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Two words: blizzard sex
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
