College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
