The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
