Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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