how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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