census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
