Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize