I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
