those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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