We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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