Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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