that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
