Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Randomize
