I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
