...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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