It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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