We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Randomize