...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
