found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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