Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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