soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
