I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
