Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
