dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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