she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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