just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
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I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
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I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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