im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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