Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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