tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
