just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You can't special order awesome
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
