yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
