where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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