I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
