There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
