I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
