I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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