I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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