haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize