What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
