dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize