halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
