my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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