I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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