Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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