you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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