i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
