i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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