i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
