The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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