I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
bring money and cleavage
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
