just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
