my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i dont even know how to be here
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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