Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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