Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
