If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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